many years ago, when I born, before I breath the corrupt air of this world, the doctor conducted an operation on my mum. there was alot of questions that surrounded my birth; I had stayed more than the conventional tenancy period of every child, I weighed twice a normal child, the doctor said I had alot of fat and as I grow-up I must live a life of low-sugar, so my mum would always sing to my waiting ears even till tomorrow! am sure there were some other technical reasons as to why the operation happened, but doctor may have preferred to keep it to himself. so everyday I take a quarter of an hour to rationalize and correlate the abnormality around my birth and the perception of people around me; yet am to find a unique connection aside the motivational teachings of some books and teachers.
I spent a better part of my leisure time right from elementary till high school with ladies/girls; which was totally strange but fun to me. I spent a year and half with all fours before I would walk (dont know if then I couldn't or wouldn't) but it was frustrating to my mum; (so that my mum would not trade the day I started walking with anything on earth); my parents weren't middle class yet so becoming strong wasn't an option even at that age/stage not long after I started running, I was confronted with books and daily early walk to school which was a sizable and unfriendly distance from home; so in elementary, I wasn't as hugh as the other boys so i would be bullied and would not be allowed to play with them; so playing with the girls no longer became an option.
I grew up with an understanding, that everybody is friendly,
kind, lovely, wise and know the right thing to do; I felt that Christianity was
a normal life and non-Christians need help, because they are passing through a
very difficult stage in their life; so they back slide; eve though, I know
better now, I still have this tendency to assume that everybody with an English
name is a Christian; my late always tell me that my problem is that “I take
everybody or think everyone the way I am” that it is very “wrong”. So I wonder
why I do.
I like girls no doubt, but cant ascertain if it the same
affection I hold for books or my fellow boys; so basically if you aren’t
mentally matured or reason at the same level with me, I soon forget your name!
So I assume that it’s a default character, nature or behavior, (what they call
it these days) in my system
I actually date these changes back to elementary school end-days,
I was 8 maybe 9; I came back from school on a normal very sunny day in the city
of Kano, the squire my lovely mother hired to govern me and my siblings
holistically, ordered me to go have a quick shower, I hurriedly obey with the
mindset that I was smelling of dirt and sweat from the Saharan sun of kano
state; I obeyed without questions as I was taught both at home, school and
church. Even though back then it wasn’t yet a fashion for children to directly
disobey their governess or grown-ups at home. After the cold shower, I was led
to the bed and raped; cant remember, if it was fast but I can remember my mum
caught us in the ACT. I later had an odd feeling that what we did was very
wrong and at that moment no one could save us from my mum’s wrath, it felt that
even God was in support for some corporal punishment to be meted to us. Years
passed before it dawned on me, that what happened in that room sex and it
happened without my consent. So afterwards, I was never shy with ladies, now I
literally run from them. In junior high, seniors buy me lunch in exchange for
my service which include talking to ladies on their behalf and delivery of
letters. Today my love life is very complicated.
Abnormal enough, this is just little about me; this morning
I asked God “why is my own different? Am guessing I will get my answer tonight.
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